Children and depression in your home

When there are children in a family where a mom or dad is going through a period of depression it is extremely important to be sensitive in what you say and how you act in front of your children in general.

Children are very aware of what is going on in a home and especially younger children do not always understand the drastic changes in their home. It may be a father or mother who spends more time in the room and is no longer involved in family activities.

Here are a few points you can apply: 

• Tell your children what is going on with your husband or wife. Explain what depression is in broad terms - you don't need to elaborate. 

• Explain to them how it is affecting your family now and may affect them in the future. You may not know everything yourself, but that's okay too. 

• Give them time to ask questions and answer their questions honestly. If you don't have the answer yourself, tell your children. 

• Confirm that they can ask you questions at any time. 

• Ensure that they are not responsible for any strange behavior of a parent in the house. 

• Give your children extra love, give them hugs regularly - this gives them security. 

• Children may be more isolated in their rooms - so make sure you do more things together outside in the garden, in the living room or TV room. 

• Stick to fixed routines - each child processes change differently so daily routine gives a rhythm to each day.

Involve them in household chores and show your appreciation through physical touch and a hug.

• Reassure your children that you will get through this as a family. 

• If you want to talk your heart out with a friend, keep it private or when the children are at school. Children hear conversations and form their own ‘pictures’ – this can only confuse them further. 

• Keep your phone conversations private - it is very important to have a confidant who you can confide in or who can support you or who you can just pray with. 

• Although depression is in the house, also focus on the other aspects of your daily family life. A family’s doings and goings-on do not have to be absorbed by the person who has depression – stick to the family’s daily routines and try to carry on as normally as possible. Let the children go to parties and visit friends but let your home still be and remain the place of love and security. 

• Pray together – this time of your life is a valuable opportunity where your children can learn that life is not perfect.

Lord I pray today for this family where someone has depression. Holy Spirit come touch each of these family members in Your unique way. I draw a circle around  them as a family and we seal the circle with the Blood of Jesus. Holy Spirit come fill this circle with Your love, patience, acceptance, wisdom, knowledge and insight. Hold this family tight through this time. In Jesus' precious Name I pray. Amen